Ranting

        There are only two things you ahve to worry about.  The first is
whether or not you're getting enough diet coke.  If you aren't, there will
be (if there aren't already) problems with your ability to process
thoughts and correctly implement racism and discrimination against sexes.
Most people are racist towards their own sex, and refuse to fuck them.
But if you want, you can invent a sex since that kind of surgery is
becoming accepted in more liberal back alleys, and be racist towards that.
The second should be the consumption of uncooked hamburger.  Most people
think e.coli is a problem, but the bacteria party is currently passing a
bill to make the genocide of bacteria illegal.  I blame the schools.  On
top of that cows are clean animals; ask any hindu.  If you don't have
cows, you need to substitute some kind of meat.  I'd recommend still-born
animal fetuses but since I don't have any excuse to back up a statement
like taht, I'm gonna assume you agree with what I'm talking about, because
I gave you a link to this article, and like the dumbass you are, you read
it.  And you're still reading it even though I called you a dumbass in the
last sentence.  From here on out no more commas will be used, since I have
run out of commas at the moment.  Okay, that being said, there was one
more thing that you had to worry about, but I refuse to think on one
certain topic for more than 12 seconds, in this case, I lost interest
between 4th and 6th seconds of thought process, most likely around second
number 5.
        Moving on, there is something else very relevant to the prior
paragraph that needs to be discussed.  I'm talking of course about anime,
the best of which was and still is Man of Fire.  In it, Samuel L. Jackson
fights the demon hoardes of Canada in as a favor to a 10 year old girl
whom he is trying to quote "hook up with."  But through a dramatic plot
twist, which isn't revealed until you locate a region 2 dvd (to watch the
*fan fiction extras*) and hack it with the modded ps2 that I tried to
return to walmart but they didn't take it back because *someone* had
unscrewed the device and the void warranty labels had been tampered with
so I naturally had to go out and slash my own tires and try to blame it on
them, but hte police didn't believe me and cited me for incorrect grammar
in an excessively long run-on sentence.  Not to mention the fact that the
ps2 was ripped off of a charity organization which apparently isn't a
valid answer to the question "why don't you have a receipt."  I'm never
shopping at walmart again, or any closely affiliated target retail stores
either.  From this I'd lost faith in the justice system but that didn't
cause me to go out and do anything.  Probably because I had just learned
the english language and just finished downloading the latest half-life
mods so I tried to WINE it but ended up destroying my windows partition,
shortly after stepping on some used needles that I honestly can't
remember placing on the carpet in a star-of-david formation.  Anyways, the
point of this article is to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Darwin was
right!